literally speaking...

Tentative Titles for Biographies, coming to the aid of the undiscerning reader...

Axl Rose: Death of a Dilettante

No Pictures, Please: Life and Works of Thomas Pynchon

Trailer Parks and Little Sparks: The Rise and Fall of Britney Spears

He Did It First: The Art and Craft of David Bowie

Mediocrity Is Easier Done Than Said: Pete Doherty's Unauthorized Biography

oh my...

Couples That Should Have Been, helping us directly channel our contempt towards them:

Sting & Madonna
This way we could all simply hate one couple, instead of having to waste so much time hating Sting & Trudie Styler, in addition to Madonna & Guy Ritchie.

Paul McCartney & Yoko Ono
In my version of History, Macca would have got snuffed instead of John. John would have smoked a lot less oregano and, perhaps, written more songs.

Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt
For once, reality and wishful thinking converge.

The Edge & The Rock
They should both get out of the closet and drop the asinine pseudonyms. I bet The Edge would love to be between The Rock and a hard place.

Scott Weiland & Courtney Love
The real modern-day Syd & Nancy: an untalented twit and a crackwhore. You choose which is which, I still remain unsure.